New Blog

My new blog is here. I'm really excited to have one that is part of my site. i'm going to leave this up for a while as archives, though i'm trying to figure out if there is a way to move it all over as archives to the new blog. If anyone that uses wordpress knows how to do this i would be very appreciative! Cheers!!

Hurl a Squirrel

Anyone that knows me knows that i have a very active imagination. i laugh when i find things funny, even if i'm by myself, on a busy street, or in an elevator with someone i dont know. i will even giggle in my sleep. sooo.. i was chatting thru email with a coworker about random things and she told me she was monking* a Hurl a Squirrel. Supposedly a Hurl a Squirrel is a dog toy... but i decided to market it as a pest product, in a really bad infomercial way:

Tired of fighting with squirrels when you're trying to enjoy a bowl of nuts in your own backyard? Those pesky squirrels wont bother you NOW that you have a Hurl a Squirrel! Yes, Hurl a Squirrel!! from the makers of Chuck a Duck! just load your squirrel up in the sling, give it a good whirl over your head and release the catch lever.. that squirrel will join the ranks of it's flying relatives as it soars over your hedge into the neighbors yard! And now accessorize your Hurl a Squirrel with our fashion colors set.. hurl your squirrel in style with a hot pink, blue or lime green Hurl a Squirrel!!

shit i could totally market anything!! hahahahahahahaha...

* Monking in the company i work for is a fancy term for data entry of product details from their packaging. it was at one point actually done by monks from a local monestary, hence the term "monking".

grocery combinations

i read somewhere about someone looking at what other people buy at the store and making a general contrast of it. i have noticed that at different times of the day people buy very interesting things. usually at your 24 hour markets people go in at 3am for all kinds of medicine/pain relievers/sleep aids. and usually in the morning people buy more breakfasty stuff. though on odd occassions i have seen people doing their regular shopping in the morning. most of my shopping is done sometime over the weekend but i do make the occasional run to get the few things i didnt see myself needing until that very day. one of my purchases in the past was toilet paper (we were flat out, usually i get mine at target but it was 10pm on a friday night and they were closed), chili (to make nachos for myself and the boy for dinner) and a magazine.. i wonder what that checker was thinking, hehe..

last night i went in for (among other things) strawberries, shake 'n' bake, and pellegrino water.. this i looked on with amusement that for dinner i was going to shake and bake my strawberries and wash it down with the pellegrino. maybe i'm the only person that finds this amusing.. but i'm considering keeping a list of odd grocery combinations.

New home

So hopefully over this weekend my little blog will get a new home. Well, thats not true, it already has a new home, but it requires a coat of paint and some decoration before I invite the world in for a visit. My new blog will be attached to my website: 2 Girls & Plastic

What is 2 Girls & Plastic you ask? Think of Libertine, mixed with a little Galliano, steal a few bows from Viktor & Rolf, give it a few tattoos, and make it able to be purchased by regular people and you have the essence of 2 Girls & Plastic. Allow me share a little bit more with you without revealing too much. 2 Girls & Plastic is a small (for now) company that i have started with a friend. I love dressing people, styling them, designing clothing for them, etc; and my friend loves sewing, designing and having fun with vintage looks done in new ways. We thought about what we wanted out of affordable fashion and we realized who better than ourselves to do it? Why hunt for something i want that i can actually afford and still pay the rent, when i can just make it myself? So our fledgling company is finally getting off to a good start. With many stops and starts and hang ups along the way we are trying to get it all up and live as soon as humanly possible while still designing and creating. I have a feeling that in the coming months... sleep, like in school, will become a fabled thing saved solely for weekends.

Hopefully the few people that actually read the current blog will migrate with me to my new home, and will be all nestled in and happy to accept a cuppa and a few biscuits, and will stick around for sneaks of new products mixed in with some rants and studies on life and people.

Vintage Treasures

Over the weekend i went antiquing in a little town about a half hour away; there i found the holy grail of vintage clothes. There is a lady, that has owned the most fabulous clothing from the 1940s onwards, and who wore it all at it's most popular height, and now she's selling it at really reasonable prices. I'm truly in awe of the state of everything she has. The hats look brand new! The shoes.. oh! the shoes! She has a pair for sale, leopard print, from Paris, from the 50's. Damn my big feet! (size 8.5) i think i might see who out there that has small feet would be willing to fork over the cash for them, they are so gorgeous! I'll have to post a photo. I want to meet this lady. I want to dive into her vintage closet and swim around in the beautiful designs and craftsmanship of well made clothing. I want to soak up the glamour that existed in those days. Pretty much I just want to own everything of hers.. and every chance i get i'm going to go back and buy more. because, well if you look at the hats below.. you cant help feeling just a bit glamorous when wearing them. Watch out Dita von Teese, i'm gonna have a better collection than you. haha!

B In China - A Harrowing Journey of a Seattle Girl in the Far East

I have a friend who is sending out an email diary during her second business trip to China. This made me laugh out loud so i am sharing it with you, as even though you dont know her it's still good reading. And for the record I have to say i loved pride and prejudice and we had a slight butting of heads over which version was better.. i like the new one, she likes the Colin Firth one. So it's nice to see she gave my version a chance. Without further ado i give you installment one of the diary. Click here...

Also, i am figuring out her new blog for her whilst she is gone and the ins and outs of wordpress are still being learned.. so please bear with the lack of any fun theme for her and the many missing links and other cool stuff..

not so much

My friend B has this radio station on her work's hold button when you call. The other day i called and it was that old 80's song with all the numbers.. 86754039424356 or something, and it totally made me laugh. Then yesterday it was playing Cindi Lauper "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" which i was really happy about and bopping along to.

Today though, when she had to put me on hold it was playing some horrid song by Rod Stewart... there is only so much Rod Stewart a person can take before they start bleeding from the ears.

Yeah... Not so much.

Call me old fashioned

I might be an old fashioned girl. I was taught from a very early age about etiquette, about what to say, what not to say, how to present myself in a formal situation and how basic hygeine works. So I am a little shocked to find out that not all people, some of whom could possibly be my mother's age, don't get basic hygeine.

Just now, in the ladies restroom, I'm doing my thing, minding my own business and whatnot. A woman (i didnt see her as i was in a stall) comes in uses the bathroom, and instead of washing her hands (which up until now i thought was taught in kindergarden) leaves the stall and the bathroom entirely and even ends up running into someone on the way out and has to say "excuse me". Now i know just by that little two word expression that she has some form of basic etiquette. she did not grunt at the person that was passing her in the doorway, so obviously she is educated enough to know that after you use the toilet you WASH YOUR HANDS. Hell they even have the little signs in restaurant bathrooms, in at least two languages, telling you to wash your hands.

So to her i ask why lady, why do you feel it not neccessary to wash your hands after you use the toilet? are you afraid to get a germ from the hands free automatic sink? are you afraid that if you hang out too long in the bathroom you might have someone try to talk to you? and are your kids this disgusting too?

Now i'm afraid to touch anything in the common areas of the office. will i get her gross toilety germs from using the microwave? will i accidently contract Herpes from touching a community doorknob? i'm so grossed out right now i'm not even thinking rationally. I want to seal off my cube in a bubble with an air purifier and hand sanitizer and paper shoes that people have to use when they want to come talk to me. thanks to the dirty germy bathroom lady i now have even more OCD and the need to clean everything with hot water and bleach. Awesome.

Coming Soon!!!

After much revision and redesigns we have finally decided on a look for our website. And it's going to be SO hot!! We're working on new clothes and home decor stuff and even some reworkings from vintage patterns with a modern twist.. really just fabulous stuff. So once it's up i'll put a link to it, but for now you get the coming soon image.. and soon enough that will change to a link to the coming soon splash for the new site.. hooray!!

A letter to the people downstairs

THANK GOD YOU MOVED OUT! Its been several weeks now and they are still cleaning and repairing the damage you left in your wake.

That Saturday morning a few weeks ago, when we saw the U-Haul outside in the parking lot we secretly wished it was for you. Oh, that day, how the gods smiled down on us in good fortune. You were finally moving out! After having the cops called on you twice, having your dumb ass brother(?) break back into the apartment (after locking himself out), by breaking a window, the two large dogs barking at anything that moved outside, the pot clouds that would waft into our open windows in the summer (thank you?), and all of the arguments and throwing things and slamming doors and belittling each other, in front of your two year old no less, you are finally gone!

I must admit, the entertainment you provided has its perks, we got to laugh at you and how stupid you were. You were the official train wreck before Britney and K-Fed came along, though I think your little brother was trying his hardest to emulate Mr. Federline. He had that whole gangster limp thing down real good, only thing keeping him from being a true gangster what that you were living in the suburbs and he was a skinny ass white kid, but I’ll give you a half point for effort. We enjoyed it when the cops came by and told you off for being dumb. By the way, a word to the wise, since I have a feeling you and our local police force are going to become well known to each other, don’t tell them how to do their jobs. As much enjoyment as it would be for us to see you get your ass beat by them, you might be sore the next day from it.

In consideration for your new neighbors I have assembled a simple list of things to remember for good neighbor etiquette in your new place, be it a cardboard box, trailer park, or a relatively nice apartment like the one downstairs.

1. I know you love to slam doors, but this gets really annoying after say, the 1000^th time. We get it, you’re pissed! So the f*ck what. Take it out on something with no hinges, or better yet, suck it up and be an adult* about it. If you can’t, maybe anger management therapy is an option? (* I know I refer to you as adults, this is still pending, as just because you’re old enough to have a kid doesn’t mean you’re mature enough to be an adult.)

2. You have two dogs, and not small ones either. Usually people with dogs take them out on walks, oh I don’t know, two times a day? I think we saw you take your dogs out maybe two times ever. And it was only to walk about 10 feet from your front door to take a crap and then get shuttled back inside. I had a thought about calling PETA or another animal rights agency and sicking them on your ass but really, if the dogs were that unhappy I think they would have just eaten your kid. How about you give the dogs up for adoption (like you should have with your child) so they can have a better life than what you’re forcing them to have.

3. About the pot, though I am in no means a saintly person. I don’t think you need to advertise so extensively that you smoke it. Call me crazy, but I’m not into having the cops come by all the time just to see if they can bust you smoking it on your porch area. If they can see you, they can arrest you. Thanks just the same for the contact high, though all it did was give me a headache.

4. About your music, what you listen to is crap, and the louder it bumps on your crappy glorified ghetto blaster, doesn’t make it something we all want to listen to. Put in a good stereo system, get some good Hip Hop tunes, invite the neighbors down for 40’s and BBQ and all will be good in the hood.

5. The yelling at 8am in the morning has to stop. Pronto. No. Really. When I’m getting ready for work in the morning I try get myself together and ready for the day, I don’t have a hard job but sometimes it can get stressful. I do not really care about whether or not the “bitch” sleeping by your side was supposed to get you up “at 7 am, and now it’s f*cking 8 ” and you’re “going to be late for work”. Last time I checked, as an adult (that pesky word again!) you are in charge of getting your own lazy ass out of bed and to work on time. Repeat after me: “My girlfriend/wife is not my mother.” And by the way, your girlfriend’s raising your kid pretty much by herself so cut the woman a bit of slack.

6. Oh and girlfriend, don’t even get me started on you. I rally for you, cuz I see what an asshole your man is, and what a defunct loser your/his brother is. So I understand that raising a 2 year old is going to get to you. But the one thing you don’t do is cuss at your kid, and you don’t tell her to shut the fuck up either. That just makes you look like a bad parent. I know you love your little munchkin, when nobody is at home we hear you singing to her in the bath, and you have a nice voice. And for a few minutes everything seems to be ok, but when the man gets home you obviously take all your frustrations out on your kid. As we hear her crying every night when you put her down to sleep. That’s just tragic. My advice, you don’t need the asshole, even if you married him, there is always something better for you out there. but I digress.. back to the topic at hand.

All in all, we are so happy you have moved out. We probably did make you jealous of the fact that we had sex and you didn’t. And I get that you cuss like sailors only to mask the hurt in your hearts, and that really if you wanted to change things you could, but you’re too damn lazy to. But I have to say I pity your new neighbors, even if you’ve gone and found a nice house with a little back yard for the kid and the dogs to play in. I pity them for the future of what you have started, of the mass of beat up old cars that will inevitably populate your front yard. I pity them for having to hear you scream at each other and slam doors (we really don’t miss that at all). I pity them for just having to deal with you. As we, well we are having margaritas and partying it up now that you’re gone, and you know what? It’s shaping up to be a nice little apartment complex again. Su-Fi to you suckers!